Childhood is, technically, an apprenticeship for adulthood. School, while it in reality falls woefully short of this ideal, should be an extension of the parents’ efforts to teach their children how to be adults. The majority of the teachers Micky and I have entrusted the kids to over the years, have been excellent role models. Unfortunately, he and I both as pupils ourselves long ago and as parents now have encountered adults working in schools who, if I had a choice, I would never let anywhere near my children.
What these people do can be summed up like this: they treat the kids with contempt. They seem to think of the pupils in their care as the enemy, and they act accordingly. It’s one of the things I have been singing hallelujah about where O’Fiaich College is concerned: the general atmosphere there is one of mutual respect. Mutual. The kids do not rule there, the adults are in charge, but not in a ‘I’m boss, you’re scum’ way.
If you work with children, especially with teenagers, ask yourself this question everytime you interact with them: if this were a shopkeeper, my spouse, my parent, would I speak to them this way? I’m not talking about simpler language for younger minds, I’m talking about a tone of contempt. We are trying to teach kids how to live. You are teaching my child that if someone addresses them with scorn, they must bow and take it.
Shame on you.
Yes, of course this post is inspired by a real person, a real situation one of my children faces. I will not interfere, I will not make waves, but hell, I wish I had the power to demand this person doesn’t come anywhere near my daughter. Instead, I’ve told my girl it’s wrong of an adult to speak to her like that. She doesn’t have to confront this person, but if she makes sure that she fully absorbs and stands by the knowledge that what this person is doing is wrong, she will make a stand against it without saying a word.
And for those of you who say: “Oh, but it will teach her how to deal with nasty people as an adult,” no. Sorry. There are few if any situations ever in your adult life where you are obliged to accept conteptuous treatment from another person without some recourse, some security in standing up to them. Even in the workplace, bosses who get away with such behaviour are rare. It’s only at school where being an adult gives you a licence to act like an ass.
